Posts by Steve Lowry

32

A thought experiment

by logansrun in

jw
friends

have you ever stopped to consider that the best thing we can do for ourselves as recovering cultists is simply to move on?

i know that is impossible for some, as they have deep connections with the organization due to family.

but for many the best move is simply to refuse to let the jws occupy much of our time and energy -- mental, physical and emotional.

I think that most of us (former JW?s) eventually come to the place, where we ask ourselves if keeping the JW connection in any form is overall beneficial to us in our lives. However I?m not so sure that this in itself is necessarily is a litmus test of personal growth and development or the lack of it. Its just a personal decision based on whether or not you want the JW experience to be an active part of your life anymore, however small a part that that may be. Personally I don?t "need" to frequent a discussion board such as this, but I do enjoy it when I do. Without ever being introduced to the person who is posting or knowing anything about them, I can instantly relate to them and understand their experience(s) as I take in their words. I enjoy having this powerful connection with other people who have also so been associated with the Jehovah?s Witnesses organization/religion. This bond is so strong between former JW?s that it practically knows no prejudice. Political views and other hot button topics can be discussed between former JW?s and even debated, but when all is said and done, we still have that thing in common that holds us together which is stronger than our personal opposing views. There is genuine love and compassion between former JW?s. It?s a family. People seem to bond with each other almost instantly. This love between former JW?s, (even if there?s nothing else) may be the one positive byproduct of being a JW.

I have someone very good friends of mine who are now in their late seventies who were JW?s for twenty years and left the group some thirty years ago. Their whole life is the former-JW ministry. They travel all over, speaking on the subject. Helen literally gets mail from around the globe asking for help and assistance form those hurting and confused by this religion. And Helen and Joe have no intention of quitting. I assure they are quite ?over it?, so to speak. Its just that dealing with former JW?s and staying current with what is going on with the religion is their passion.

For me, I?ve decided to keep my ?hand in?. Sure I could completely extricate the JW experience from my life. And there would be nothing wrong with that. The only negative I find for me by staying connected with it is when I read these heart wrenching stories that people share about the pain of their experiences. I feel anger and frustration when I read their stories because I realize just how unnecessary the pain that they have had to endure is. But such is the product and result of being associated with this cultic religion. Ironically, it is this very same frustration that makes me want to reach out and help by being an encouragement to them. And I guess it?s kind of cathartic for me as well.

Well, good luck to you Bradley in your journey wherever it may take you. And don?t forget you have a family here who loves ya.

Steve

54

Your Tomb Stone... what do you want written on it?

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

.

i think i would like this on mine:.

you had your chance, but now he's gone.. please keep the line moving..

Steve Lowry

Well, at least I was smart enough not to die a Jehovah's Witness!

22

I am marrying a df JW-

by wtphobic in

jw
friends

i will be marrying a df jw in just 2 months.

it is now really bothering him that his parents won't come to the wedding.

omg- not only is he df, but it's being held in a church!!!

Steve Lowry

You need to understand that as unfair has JWs treatment of df'd ones is, most of them do this out of love, believe it or not. They aren't trying to be mean or cruel, but hoping if they shun them (us) then mabye he (we) will return . . ."

Sassy, I know this prolly isn?t the thread to get into this, but I don?t buy into your point of view in this area. Not completely anyway. The JW is driven by pride and self-righteous piety. They ?need? to feel superior to others (which helps to reinforce they?re right), and it becomes a kind of psychological intoxicating drug for them. It?s more important to the JW to maintain his or her sense of ?elitism? than it is to give that up and take a chance on not being one of the "chosen". They?ll never admit to it, but there?s a kind of satisfaction that comes from shunning those who have left. After all, those who have left (especially those who made the choice and not something that was thrusted upon them) threaten the JW?s sense of "righteousness", and what better way to keep that sense righteousness intact than by shunning. Nah, this isn?t a loving act, not really.

I know the JW can be really ?torn up? about having to shun a former family member (I?ve seen this battle go on in my mother for years), but this pain they endure proves to them they?re "pleasing" God, which is a kind of psychological reward. The pain proves worthiness. The more pain, the more worthy. It?s kind of Pavlovian. It may be painful for them on one level, but still satisfying on another. Don?t give them to much credit in this area. For the JW, the need to feel superior overrides the need to love.

Steve

16

this has probably been mentioned before, but...

by LuckyNun in

jw
friends

if you're like me, you used to dread certain days of the week.

mainly, tuesdays and thursdays for me.

waste the entire day at school, then come home, take a shower, scarf down supper and be ready to go by 6:30pm.

Steve Lowry

Yea, I haven?t thought about this in a while. But man, I hated Tuesdays and Fridays (these were the days at my K. Hall). As a kid, I just grew to dread these two days, especially Friday. Knowing I was gonna have to sit motionless and with nothing to do but listen to a bunch of boring crap that I couldn?t relate to, just made my heart sink on those days. I hated it so much that I tried several tricks and tactics to get me out of those meetings. Once I took a pencil (I was about nine years old) and scratched the inside of my nose just a little, to make myself sneeze and then acted like I was sick. This worked a couple of times but eventually nothing would ?trick? my mom into leaving. I gotta tell ya, when I think about this, it makes me mad as a hell. That she (and all JW parents) could take a little kid and subject them to such fking boring crap and for several hours a week is nothing short of child abuse IMO. Actually, I guess its part of the ?mind dumbing down? process to desensitize JW?s as they grow up. I think most kids just finally give up and mindlessly go and sit there like zombies. It kinda reminds me of the people in the movie, The Time Machine (the original). This loud horns blows, and the people just get a blank stare on the faces and start walking to the Hall, uh, I mean to the mountainside where the underground dwellers take them in. And you remember what the underground dwellers did to them once they were inside, right? What?s the difference between this and the Watchtower Society?s ?horn? blowing? It?s a pretty good analogy I think. Yea.

I think that to this day it has jaded my desire to ?church go?. I don?t like getting dressed to go, or driving there and certainly not sitting through the "ceremonies". I?ve had enough of that for a lifetime. But at least most churches I?ve been to, they have a place for little kids to go during the services in the main sanctuary. They can play games and do all kinds of kid things and even make a game out of learning about the bible and stuff. That?s the difference between a loving environment, and a heartless driven cultic group being led by a self serving parasite like the Watchtower Society.

Well, go ahead and blow your 'horn' bitch, I know what it means now and I ain?t falling for it no more!

7

I can speak in tongues

by JH in

jw
friends

ok, not exactly speak, but i can write in many languages now.

try this link.

really cool.. http://babelfish.altavista.com/babelfish/

Steve Lowry

Ich kann auf bumsenden Deutsch jetzt sprechen! Ya gotta love the germans.

130

What does your user name here mean?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i don't know what eles to call it , i guess it is the user name....lol.......so what does yours mean?.

i think awhile back i might have asked this,,,,,,,but it was way back and so many new ones here that i am just getting to know, and ones who came in here while i was not here as much.

there may be a thread on this in the last recent months, i am not sure,,,,if so, if there are any new ones who want to tell why they choose their user names,,,,,please do.. i will tell you why my name is lyineyes,,,,,many have asked me that here lately.

Steve Lowry

Uh, means me!

Actually there's a reason for me using my real name. When I started debating JW's on the Internet several years ago (alas, no more JW's want to play anymore), I used my real name so none of them could claim I wasn't being honest about who I was. And while they were afraid (in most cases) to use their real name, this was my way of showing them (psychologically) that I wasn?t afraid of them knowing who I was. It kind of unnerved them a little. Anyway, I?ve just kept with using my real name out of habit now.

Of course I could have made up the name, but who would make up a name as boring as mine? Smile.

Steve Lowry (one without a handle)

11

Driving to Meeting

by CaptK in

jw
friends

this is a classic !

i am currently disfellowshiped and have been attending the sunday meetings at the kingdom hall for the last 2 years.

i am in my mid to late 40's.

Steve Lowry

As long as you continue to go to the Hall, you're enabling this kind (and other kinds) of abuse. Why not just stop going altogether? That way, no one can pull any crap on you. Disarm them by shunning them. Works every time.

39

Things you threw away when becoming a witness

by JH in

jw
friends

are there any things you threw away when you became a witness that you now regret throwing away?

Steve Lowry

Well, on this one point anyway, you're probably better off (loosing the Ouija board). I don't think it's something to play with, IMO.

Steve

93

So, Why Does God Permit Wickedness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

what would say to someone that asks you that question now?

?

Steve Lowry

"Really? How do you know? That kind of paints god as an asshole doesn't it?"

I guess if you see it that way, then that?s the way you decide to see it. But to me it means that God has the right to run the Universe He created, without a suggestion box. And how do I know about the little sign on His desk? I made it for Him.

67

THE SHAME IS ON "YOU" DANSK!!!

by Aikon in

jw
friends

hi dansk.

i have read your commet on the subject "shame on you".. what you have seem to forgot is your family????

yes if you was not like a "bull in a china shop" you would have stopped and looked at the situation to ensure your daughter were not left behind in the w/t.. but what did you do?

Steve Lowry

Aikon,

Everyone must choose his or her own path to the Kingdom Hall exit door. That said, I also can?t help but say that I personally believe that if you stay in a ?lie? in an effort to try and help your family out of a ?lie?, this is somewhat hypocritical and illogical reasoning. The means (in this case) don?t justify the ends. One must be true one?s beliefs and principles (even if it is a difficult road) or one has not much to offer any one else. If you truly believe that being a Jehovah?s Witness is wrong, then be a guiding light and show the way out to others, (including your family) by leaving. Life?s hard. No one say?s its gonna be easy. Have the balls to stand by what you believe in.

Anyway, by and large, people don?t quit bad habits or develop new ones for other people. They do it for themselves or they don?t do it all, most times. In this case the bad habit is being a JW.